Sometimes I have to wonder why I do what I do with all the
adversity, disparity, carnage and sorrow that I see. I see it in the ED and I see
it out in the public. There are just certain instances that make me stop and
think about what I do and how easily that my patient could be me and then I’d
be dealing with their circumstances.
There are also those patients that make me stop and think
about my life and how I’ve done things, right and wrong. Have I been in their
shoes? Can I truly be empathetic or sympathetic? More and more I find myself
relating to the plight of my patients and their families as I get older. I find
myself saying, “yep. Been there, done that” quite often.
This weekend was one of those weekends that made me do a lot
of thinking.
Wonderful couple came in the other day as one of them was
complaining of CVA-like symptoms. The patient had had one before with no
lasting effects. Had been following all the doctors orders in regards to
medication, diet, exercise, and lifestyle changes. Yet even though all these
things had been done to the “T,” the symptoms popped back up out of the blue. The
patient was surprised, frustrated, and very upset. Why, after all this effort,
was this still happening? Why bother continuing on to do the “right thing” when
this still happens?
At the time when they came in we were busy and I really didn’t
have a lot of time to sit and talk but the look I was given told me it was best
to sit and chat for a while, to try and relive some stress that was apparent
and evident in the patient’s eyes and face. The same questions kept popping
back up. The wrinkled brow and questioning eyes never left the patient’s face. The
hands were constantly moving, needing something concrete to grasp to make some
sense of what was happening. And the same routines were replayed verbally over
and over trying to find something different that had been done out of the
ordinary to explain this sudden recurrence of the CVA symptoms.
We talked about the signs, the symptoms, the medications,
the routines, and anything else that had gone on in the past 6 months or so. Nothing
had changed. Then the questions changed to, “why continue?” The patient knew
why but still asked anyway. It was fairly obvious to me that the fear of the
unknown was eating away at this patient’s mind and raising the stress level
even higher. “I’m just a paramedic but I’ve seen this a lot. I’ve treated this
often.” I offered various scenarios of what I’ve seen and how I’ve handled
things, all the while making sure the patient understood that not everyone is
alike; we all have the potential to react to things differently (health
problems, medications, procedures,…). I mentioned about being proactive by
continuing to do what the doctors had said. I reiterated like I do quite often
that medicine is not an exact science; that’s why they call it a “practice.” We
prescribe and do things based on evidence, experience, and knowledge knowing
that not everyone will react to the same way or respond to the same treatments
the same every time. Things change. People are unique. Situations vary from one
minute detail to the next.
But what it all came down to was this patient’s fear of what
lies ahead and not knowing. I said, “I could get killed in the next 90 minutes
as I’m driving home from here. I just don’t know.” And with that simple
statement after all this dialogue lasting almost 45 minutes, I noticed two
raised eyebrows that said, “you know, he’s right.” We all have the fear of the
unknown but we can’t let it consume our lives and what we do. We cannot run our
lives based on what we don’t know. We cannot let the unknown issues dictate how
we go through our daily lives. We prepare as best we can and take what each
second, minute, hour throws at us and deal with it. We do the best we can. The
unknown cannot consume us or we too will become consumed with worry and fear.
As I left that patient’s room for the last time I did so
knowing that I had eased at least a small amount of the stress and fear that
was hanging in the air. I heard a spouse say, “He’s right. We DON’T know what
will happen in the next 10 minutes so we’d better get prepared.”
