The Bad Guy

I guess I’ve always gone through life being worried about how others see me. Am I perceived as a good person, bad person, nice, caring, self-centered? I’ve seen a lot of things happen to people who have had some of those characteristics and I’ve seen some on the other side of it.

Why should I care? Why do I care?

In high school I always tried to have friends in all circles. Probably the main reason is that I could always find someone to call if I needed something or needed help. I had friends with every trait and capability. I used to pride myself on being able to get anything done no matter where in the world I was. I’ve called in favors before from various groups of friends to get things done. I usually know who I can call the first time to accomplish what I’m after.

Now things change a little and I’m a father. I worry about two little girls and one little boy looking at me through someone else’s eyes. Am I an ass? Am I a mean person? Do I treat everyone fairly? How I act and respond to things is probably how they will as they grow up and have their own kids. I don’t do things necessarily the way my parents did yet I see some of the same things coming out in me. I do try like hell to quash those traits I didn’t like as a child so that ours do not have to see them.

I also get to see people who get ahead by sucking up to superiors or other people. They’re manipulative or they’re just plain submissive. Those traits drive me nuts. I don’t like to be pushed or pulled one direction as typically I have my own opinions on things. I may or may not voice them but I’ll typically say them. I try to follow the rules and see that others do as well.

I’ve never liked being looked on as “the bad guy” in any situation. When it comes to discipline I try to do what’s right. I have to look at every situation from all angles and determine the best route to go. Whether it be a personal matter or business issue I try to do what’s right. I know very well that I cannot please everyone all of the time. It’s truly impossible. What’s good for one may very well not be good for another.

I got to enforce some rules recently and was given an ultimatum. That’s something that I do not like. I do not like being forced in to a corner. I will come out fighting and defend myself, especially if I’m right, at all costs. A couple things suffered but in the end things will be fine. They’ll work out. Thing is, I don’t always make the rules. Some are already there to be followed and it’s my job to make sure they get enforced. If I’m forced to choose one over the other, unless it’s a huge oversight on my part, I’ll choose the right path. I sometimes make mistakes as does everyone else. We all do to a degree but some will not own up to it. Some will not admit their faults. When I’m wrong, I’ll tell you. If I screw up I’ll admit to it and try to fix it, not cover it up. I’ll take punishment if it’s due to me. I’ll learn from it and go on and be stronger in the future because of it (hopefully).

It’s just one of those things; perception IS reality. How a person’s perceived can be reality; it may be forced and it may be fake. Perception can turn in to a true persona for some while others see right through it.

Me? Believe it or not, I try to do what’s right. What I do may not be the popular choice or decision but I honestly do like to see people smile. I want others to be happy because of what I say and do. I’m not always a grump, an ass, or the “enforcer.” I want what’s right to be followed, the rules not to be broken, and for everyone to be happy.